Stories of Suicide

After my father’s suicide, I wrestled with the “why” questions to the point of utter exhaustion. When bad things happen, we automatically ask why, as if finding out the answers will give us comfort and peace. I don’t find they actually do. The far more significant question, from a Christian standpoint, is not “Why?” but “What is God doing about it?”

When my mother called me with the awful news, she wailed in grief and pain. I was in shock. Numb. It didn’t seem real. How could this have happened to our family? And how could we go on?

We’ve recently been sharing the stories of people with firsthand experiences of suicide; whether they’ve lost someone to suicide, helped someone navigate that dark period, or have struggled with suicidal thoughts themselves. Through all those stories, you might be left wondering, ‘What can I do about it? How can I help?’

It wasn’t what Pippa expected to find when she woke up on January the 3rd, 2019, but there he was; her 15-year-old son Dominic, tragically lost to suicide. Now, four years later, Pippa shares about losing Dom and what it did to her faith. Though Pippa and her family are still facing the pain and grief of losing Dom, they pray that their family’s story will help others walking a similar road.

Nine years ago, I was in a very different place. A dark one. With my depression deepening and feeling more isolated than ever, thoughts of ending my own life became frequent. This year on World Suicide Prevention Day, my prayer is that you’ll feel better equipped to support the people in your life who may be struggling with suicidal thoughts.

Depression came for me when I was 16. Not overnight, but over a period of months; a gradual descent into a darkness so deep that it consumed everything in my life. I withdrew from friends, and disconnected from church. The things I used to love doing took energy I didn’t have, and I stopped enjoying them.

However you define a true-blue Australian man, there seems to be one universal agreement: Men should not be weak. Not surprisingly, men are far less likely to access mental health services than women, according to the Australian Bureau of Statistics. Sadly, this desire to be strong does not dismiss our mental suffering. Instead, it exacerbates it.

For many of us, whether we’ve experienced the effects of suicide personally or not, it probably isn’t a subject that we speak about very often. Yet it is an important subject and one which we as churches and believers need to consider if we are to serve our communities as well as our fellow brothers and sisters in church.

Today we’re hearing the story of Keola, a young guy who fought against thoughts of suicide, and turned to unhelpful ways of coping — including trying self-harm, which became addictive. Though Keola’s mental health struggles aren’t all over now, his testimony is one of immense hope.

As our Suicide Awareness Month comes to a close, we’re taking a look at some of the bigger questions that come along with the topic, such as ‘Was this my fault?’, ‘Could I have done more?’, and ‘How could God let this happen?’.

In this episode we’re hearing from Joshua, a young guy from New Zealand who suffered depression as a teen and came to the point of wanting to end his life. Joshua shares vulnerably with us about his thoughts at the time, including walking us through what was meant to be his ‘final day’ and sharing about the letter he wrote to farewell friends and family.

In this episode we’re hearing from Pippa. Four years ago, Pippa’s faith was challenged as she and her husband dealt with their teenage son’s deteriorating mental health. Sadly, they lost that son to suicide. Pippa is raw and honest as she shares her family’s story of unimaginable grief and pain, but she also encourages us that God is no less with us in the messiness of life.

Depression came for Maddy in her late teens. A gradual descent into a darkness so deep that it consumed everything in her life. Worried about being a burden and afraid of letting people down, Maddy struggled with thoughts that maybe life would be better for others without her in it.