Ep36 - Suicide Was My Plan B

Please note: Keola’s story covers his struggles with self-harm and suicide ideation, so please be wise as you listen and mindful of who you’re listening with.

Today we’re hearing the story of Keola, a young guy from Las Vegas in the US who thought he was living the dream — scouted out of high school for Division 1 baseball college, and on his way to making it as an athlete. But moving to that college wasn’t the highlight he was expecting it to be, and instead, it became a time of anxiety, fear, and dread. 

As Keola fought against these newfound mental health challenges, they worsened; leaving him feeling lost and alone. He fought against thoughts of suicide, and turned to unhelpful ways of coping — including trying self-harm, which became addictive. 

Though Keola’s mental health struggles aren’t all over now, his testimony is one of immense hope. Through his darkest periods, Keola has experienced God’s grace and deliverance in incredible ways and, while his struggles have never entirely gone away, he’s able to proclaim the goodness of God in all circumstances.

In his own words, he shares with us: “I’ve gotten a lot closer to God because of my suffering… because I know He’s going to show up, and I know if I lean on Him, He’s going to make a way.” 

Keola shares his story today with the prayer that it might bring hope to anyone suffering through similar circumstances, and understanding to those who haven’t experienced this.

When you’re done listening, you can read this piece written by Keola on our blog: To the Christian Who Self-Harms.