When It Feels Like We're Drowning

Written by Hannah Juanta, Australia

Can I ask you how many times you’ve come across this passage in a Bible study or as part of a sermon – the story of Jesus walking on water in Matthew 14:22-33? I’ve definitely heard it hundreds of times, in different ways and with different themes behind it, but it came back to me just recently.

In an effort to quiet the anxious thoughts that often infiltrate my head when I go on social media, I’ve made it a personal goal to sit in the Word before I tap in. I’ve kept this practice up for the last few months, and it has begun to be a routine that I seek out rather than a chore that I have set for myself.

My brain can’t handle the extensive nature of social media at the best of times, so this small moment of quiet each day–even if it’s not until dinner time–has been very restorative. The most recent Bible passage I read was the one above; Peter seeing Jesus out on the water and calling to Him.

The Power of Presence

A long-standing thread of gold that God has been weaving for me in my quiet moments with His Word has been one of ‘presence’ – not only of His presence with me, but of my being present in the moment, too. I found myself seeking this thread in the passages in Matthew as I read them, and I wasn’t disappointed:

“Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”

“Come,” he said.

Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”

Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”

And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down.

(Matthew 14:28-32 NIV)

Chapter 14 begins with Jesus losing His cousin to a brutal death. John the Baptist was beheaded, and Jesus hears this tragic news from John’s own followers. The man who baptised Him (Matthew 3:13-17), whose mother Elizabeth rejoiced about his impending birth with His own mother (Luke 1:41-44), had been killed. Because Jesus was wholly man as well as wholly divine, He felt the full force of that news – as any of us would. Rightly so, He sought solitude to mourn John.

However, people interrupted. They followed Him, and because Jesus is who He is, He allowed them to. He didn’t ignore their needs or their questions, He “had compassion on them” (Matthew 14:14) and He was present with them anyway. He set aside how He was feeling to be there for them instead. Isn’t that astounding?

Further to the theme of ‘presence’, Jesus feeds all those who had gathered with what was on hand. Everything they needed was already there in their midst, and they didn’t need to look any further to find it. Jesus is showing them how to be present by miraculously providing the food they needed so that they could stay in His presence.

Once Jesus is satisfied that the people who have come to hear Him are fed and cared for, He shoos the disciples onwards to the other side of the water so He can send the people safely on their way. Without question, the disciples climb in and head off and Jesus is finally alone – able to be with His Father in prayer without the disciples nagging Him or the townspeople following Him. The quiet that He was seeking much earlier is finally accessible, and He heads up onto a mountain to be with God.

Meanwhile, the disciples are out on the lake and their boat is being buffeted and bounced around by waves and the wind. They’re freaking out, like any normal human being would.

I like to think that Jesus saw this from His spot up on the mountain, because just before the sun was shining again, He’s already heading out onto the water to check on His friends and make sure they’re handling the boat in the waves.

Did He hear them calling out in fear? Did He watch the wind churning up the water and see the waves lashing the sides of the boat? We don’t know – we’re just told that He knows they need His presence yet again. They always will, of course.

These disciples are so terrified by what’s going on, and they’re probably exhausted from pulling on ropes and running around that they freak out even further and think there’s a ghost heading towards them! It’s absolute panic stations now, but Jesus calls out to them, “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid” (v 27).

On some level, they must recognise His voice, right? It must be familiar to them, but just to be sure Peter grips the side of the boat, leans out and calls something back: “Lord, if it’s You…tell me to come to You on the water” (v 28).

I’m picturing Jesus here – He shrugs and nods, telling Peter to “come” and then waiting out on the raging water for His friend to get out of the boat. And Peter does get out, because he wants to walk on the water. We all do, but then we do what Peter did and get utterly overwhelmed and distracted by the chaos of the world around us.

In Peter’s case, it’s the wildness of the waves around him – for us, it might be our kids, our friendships, our work or our ministry that crowds out the focus we thought we had on Jesus. We were looking at Him for a moment, we were walking through the waves towards Him, trusting His presence, but then for a split second we dropped our gaze and saw all that was swirling around us.

Knowing Who to Turn To

Oftentimes, these passages are used to encourage us to ‘get out of the boat’ and leave what we know to be safe and secure for the safe and secure arms of Jesus instead. That’s a good message, and there’s nothing wrong with that lesson – but I was struck by something different as I read the passage this time. Jesus says to “come” and yes, we should get out of the boat if that’s what He’s asking us to do – but when we take our eyes off Him (and we will, that’s just who we are) we need to do what Peter did.

“Lord, save me!” he cried in verse 30. Peter was probably starting to flap his arms around and kick his legs, thinking he should have learnt how to doggy paddle better as a kid. He’s picturing the darkness of the waters beneath his feet and he’s panicking – but he knows who can help him and he knows to ask.

When I’m in a place of utter chaos, floundering around and feeling like I’m going under, who am I calling out to? Am I jumping on social media and looking for validation and safety in other people’s content? Or am I catching my breath and calling out to the One who never left me in the first place, the One who was present from the beginning telling me I could “come” despite the chaos of the storm swirling around me?

Maybe social media isn’t difficult for you to have a handle on, but I’m sure there’s something in your life that you instinctively turn to when you know it won’t save you. Can I encourage you today to make a move towards naming that, and gradually replacing it with Jesus? It’s not something that will change overnight, but with time and persistence, we can be like Peter and acknowledge our little faith in light of His big presence.

Hannah is an Aussie wife and mama to two littles. She’s dipping her toes into her ‘next right thing’ as she learns to navigate this chapter God has called her to. Hannah generally hovers in that space between consciousness and coffee as she tries to take each day knowing she needs grace to get through it! She’s a lover of good words, strong conversation, a well-worn thrift store, and a doughy doughnut. You can find more of Hannah’s writing over at etchedonlives.wordpress.com.