It's a New Year, but I'm Exhausted

Written by Madeleine Grace Scholefield, Australia

I crawled to the finish line last year.

After packing up our home into storage and filling the car with some essentials, my husband and I moved interstate to embark on our living-mobile adventure for the next year.

In the weeks before we left, we said goodbye to our church and family and friends, found tenants to rent our unit, farewelled my husband’s work, attended a 10-year school reunion, and stayed with my in-laws for a week. Oh, and I squeezed in nasal surgery just days before our trip.

I haven’t caught my breath yet.

I don’t think you need to have moved interstate to be feeling the way I do at this time of year; a little dazed and disoriented, and tired. I'm so tired.

It’s already the second week of January (can you believe it?!), and I’m acutely aware of all the ways I haven’t “started the year strong”. I’m not seven days into a new Bible-reading streak or four chapters into a new book or happily ticking off exercise goals.

I read other people’s inspiring posts and feel like I’m doing it wrong. What are my goals for this year?

I’m told at every corner that I need to “set my intentions” for 2024 or spend time journalling and making vision boards, but I just can’t seem to muster the energy. I keep meaning to sit down and reflect and make plans, but when I do get some time to myself, all I want to do is sleep.

I’m facing a year of a lot of unknowns. A lot that’s out of my control, and that’s scary.

I don’t know what you’re facing. Maybe you’re starting this year filled with energy and fresh excitement, looking forward to what’s coming. Maybe you’ve written the lists and set the goals and so far you’re actually sticking to them.

But, if you’re like me, you’re feeling a little worn out. A little on the back-foot.

And being surrounded by peppy posts about “starting strong” and “developing a side hustle” and “manifesting your dreams” can all feel a little overwhelming.

Can’t we just… rest? Reflect on last year? Move slowly?

If you’re feeling that way too, here are some reminders for you and me as we look ahead to whatever 2024 will hold:

Remember what God has done for you.

It’s so easy to forget the things God has done, provided, and helped us through.

As we step into a new year, let’s take a minute to think back on where we saw God move last year.

For me, that helps me to feel less worried about whatever may come, because I know that God has already brought me through hard things. He’s always provided for me, and He’s always been there.

I know that in theory, of course, but remembering specific times where God has been at work in my life helps my heart to remember, too.

“Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them fade from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them.” — Deuteronomy 4:9

Anything worth doing is worth doing at any point in the year.

Have you ever tried to start a new habit midway through a week, and then thought to yourself, ‘I’ll just wait until Monday’? I have.

There’s something hopeful (and wistfully naive) about the sense of a fresh start that a new day, new week or month or year brings. Many of us will feel that pressure to start a goal from January 1st, only to feel defeated when we inevitably break it during the year. Oh well, we’ll tell ourselves. I’ll just wait until next year.

But what if… We didn’t wait? What if we just picked ourselves up and tried again, whether it’s on a Thursday in February or a Tuesday in August? Who says we have to start the year perfectly, anyway?

“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.” — Isaiah 43:18-19

Leave room for unproductivity.

I think I’ve fallen for the lie that everything I do has to have some big purpose. A hobby can’t be a hobby, it must be a side hustle. A walk can’t be a walk, it must be a fitness goal.

Earlier this week, I found myself with a whole spare hour before the work day started. My mind was filled with “should-do’s”; ‘I should be writing’ or ‘I should read a book’, that sort of thing. But I was tired, and all I really wanted to do was sit still and daydream for a while.

I fought off guilt that I wasn’t “making the most” of my time. What good was an hour of lying still and letting my mind wander going to do me? A lot, actually.

I find January is the time when I feel most pressured to “be productive”, constantly. Discipline is important, of course, and so are goals. But with all the talk around “starting the New Year well”, I’ve accidentally hedged myself into a routine that doesn’t leave a lot of room for the in between. For boredom. For creativity.

Have we left space in our schedules for nothingness? For unproductive time? For allowing our minds to wander, to dream, to remember?

Maybe, like me, you feel like you need permission to take a break from “the grind”.

So here it is: go and do something unproductive. Something just for the joy of it, without it needing to be seen or measured or talked about.

“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” — Romans 12:2

The finish is just as important as the start.

I’m a runner. Or, I was. Back in high school, I loved competing in cross-country events. These days, I run for fun and do the occasional parkrun. And one thing I’ve learned from running is that how you end your run is just as important as the start.

Picture this: you’re at the starting line, jostling for position and sizing up those around you. All that adrenaline coursing through your veins makes you want to sprint at the start. You want to break away from the pack and take the lead quickly. But if you come out too fast, you lose energy quickly.

No one cheers for the person who sprints ahead in a race but then stops partway through. They cheer for the finishers; no matter how fast each runner ran, it’s the fact that they finished well that gets them cheers at the end.

I’ve learned that lesson time and time again, both in races and in different seasons of life: start what you can sustain. And to me, that means making small changes I can commit to that will, over time, have big results.

Take Bible-reading, for example. I’m sure many of us had that thought in the lead-up to the new year: Maybe this will be the year I read the whole Bible. (I have a confession to make: I’m not one of those people who’s ever finished it in a year). But I think this same principle applies here; if I start the year at a sprint, trying to read a whole book of the Bible every day, it’s pretty likely I’ll peter out. Sooner or later “life” will pop up, I’ll get sick or go away or something will happen that gets me off track.

But what if I form a more sustainable habit? Instead of trying to read chapters and chapters each day, what if I committed to one chapter a day? Or even a few verses? My chances of having the stamina to finish out the year strong would be a lot higher.

If you’re setting goals for yourself this year, I’d encourage you to think about the pace you’re setting. Imagine yourself six months from now: will you still be committed to the same habits you’re wanting to start? Are you setting yourself up for burn-out later in the year? Start what you can sustain.

“Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Won’t you first sit down and estimate the cost to see if you have enough money to complete it? For if you lay the foundation and are not able to finish it, everyone who sees it will ridicule you, saying, ‘This person began to build and wasn’t able to finish.’” — Luke 14:28-30

And finally… There’s nothing noble about sacrificing rest.

We’ve shared a bit about rest this year.

And although we all know rest is important, how many of us actually carve out time in our days, weeks and months to rest? Do we spend our days rushing from one thing to the next, our weekends filled with commitments and chores?

I know I do, a lot of the time.

So this year, I’m hoping to carry with me a firm commitment to rest. To respect God’s invitation for us to rest (Exodus 20:8-11). I’m also going to practise self-care so that I can better love those around me.

And, when the guilty thoughts crowd in that tell me I’m too busy or don’t deserve to rest, I’m going to be like King David and say: “In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, LORD, make me dwell in safety.” — Psalm 4:8

How does that sound, friends?

p.s. Happy belated New Year.