How I Learned to Find Beauty in the Chaos
Written by Sarah Alison, Australia
Have you ever had the thought that you must be doing something wrong because you do not feel like you are living “life to the full” like Jesus said He came to give (John 10:10)?
I have.
I always thought that I must have been doing it wrong, because life is hard—so how on earth do people rise above it all and still seem to enjoy life?
God rescued me from a dark time in my life a few years ago. I was struggling with life and in survival mode, both mentally and physically. My relationships suffered because of it. I even remember admitting to my husband one day, “I’m just not a happy person.”
But Jesus met me there. It was a beautiful redemption and an awakening to His beauty. He spoke through His creation and everything became alight with wonder. He started from the beginning and reminded me of who He is, and who I am.
I was His child, and He would not let me go. He took me back to the garden of His presence and to the truths that are found when we tend to the foundations of our intimacy with Him.
Since then, my basket continues to overflow with colourful bouquets of truth that I have gleaned. I still often find myself with dirt on my knees, digging out the weeds of lies, but Jesus continues to spur me on with His beauty and goodness to keep on sharing.
These are a few lessons that I’ve learned about experiencing joy in His presence and abiding in the Vine, whatever the season.
1. Pray the Simple Prayers
What happens when the things we rely on to make us feel close to God are out of reach?
A long, uninterrupted Bible study, space to pray, to create, to journal, to listen to just one song without our attention being diverted elsewhere... Not for lack of trying, but just because we physically can't. What happens then?
I've been there many times.
I remember clearly one time when all I could muster was a little prayer as I was looking out the window while trying not to hear my disagreeing children in the background.
“Help me,” I whispered.
And do you know what happened? The prettiest little blue wren immediately came to my window. He brought a few friends and they just hopped around my yard for a while. These wrens have a habit of showing up at times when I feel depleted.
God sent His ‘love notes’ to me anyway. It was not because of an elaborate prayer, and it had nothing to do with what I had done, read, or achieved that brought His presence close that day. It was just by His grace.
When I can't get to that space of quiet, uninterrupted time with Him, I have no choice but to rely on grace. And, my friends, there is so much grace. I know that God sees our hearts, and arrives anyway, despite our feeble efforts.
He still requires us to posture our hearts, but the amount of times that I have felt Him carry me through a season of fatigue, unable to get to that sweet place of solitude with Him, is too many to possibly count.
2. Read His Word
Does reading the Bible regularly matter?
Let me start by asking a question: There are two wolves and they are always fighting. One is darkness and despair. The other is light and hope. Which wolf wins?
The answer is, of course: The one you feed.
We have received a gold-lettered invitation to sit at the table with Jesus–not as guests or onlookers, but as heirs of all that is said there. To grasp more and more of an understanding of that every day is food for our souls. Whoever comes to Jesus and eats the “bread of life” will never go hungry (John 6:35).
And so we pray, just as Jesus taught us–we ask our Father in heaven to “Give us today our daily bread” (Matthew 6:11). He knew that we would need to feed the light and hope within us daily, because darkness and despair continues to invade our worlds, daily.
It is from His Word that we remind our souls of the histories of His goodness (Psalm 145:5-7), the truth that we are called ‘beloved’ (Romans 9:25), that we are sons and daughters of heaven with a job to do (Ephesians 2:10), a sword of the Spirit to wield, and are given a precious bottle of healing oil in our back pocket (James 5:14).
I have discovered that nothing quite fills my cup up like spending time in the presence of Jesus and reading His Word. I can't even explain what happens in that space, but it's like I am refuelled to continue driving, and the hills ahead don't seem quite so steep.
3. Make Time to Create
Once upon a time in my life, I abandoned the hunger in my soul to create for a long, long while. My mind was simply surviving. And who has time to make life beautiful when it takes all your might just to put one foot in front of the other?
My journal gathered dust, the paint brushes were left to rust, and the garden within me begged the overgrown weeds to just wither and die.
I realise now, by learning the hard way, that letting my hands find joy in creating throughout my own ordinary, dry days (especially in all the hidden ways), tends to my soul’s garden and keeps it watered and colour-filled.
Being creative is one of the things that keeps my soul alive in this dance of life and of motherhood.
Some days, that may look like forgetting the never-ending list of jobs at home and bundling up all the kids with a million snacks and bikes and going to a park or the pond or somewhere that won't just inspire the kids, but will give life to me too. It doesn't always go smoothly and sometimes feels counterfeit as my children continue to be children, but the change of scenery still gives a fresh perspective.
Other days, it means staying home and bringing order and beauty to the space we live in and simplifying life as much as possible while prioritising nap times. Most days, it also means finding time to read a chapter of a book that will challenge or inspire me and write my thoughts down creatively.
I’d hate to think what would’ve happened had the Master Gardener not come to remind my soul’s garden of this truth—that I was created to bring richness and colour in the space where I was placed.
I was made to create in the humble rhythms of life, while providing an invitation to commune with the Great Artist Himself (especially in all the hidden ways), which is actually the point of it all, I think.
4. Sing His Praises
When we pray, it is a process of laying things down at the feet of Jesus. Once they are laid, and we are waiting for a response but nothing comes, what else can we do?
We can sing.
Worshipping through song is a weapon we wield. It cuts through the invading darkness and brings light and truth to the depths of our spirit. When we sing worship songs that are birthed through the lens of the Word, we are waging war in the unseen realm with the weapon of Truth.
This is where we declare through praise and worship the power and glory of God. We might get a little undignified. We might kneel, weep, dance, jump or even punch the air (2 Samuel 6:14-15). When we push past the limitations of our circumstances, in spite of how we are feeling about what we can or can’t see with our natural eyes, we get to the place where faith rises and suddenly, something extraordinary happens–we realise there ARE no limits.
It is here that the weapon of worship gives us the eyes of faith and very wonderful, amazing, supernatural and unexplainable things can happen. But the funny thing is, we are no longer expecting anything because our eyes are simply beholding the Creator of the universe. So we know that it has nothing to do with us, and everything to do with His grace.
I like to call this type of worship ‘Fragrant Melodies’–a song offered up in spirit and in truth. It is a heart layed down at the cross. This is my very favourite way to wage war in the unseen realm.
Worship matters. A lot. It’s what we were made for.
5. Growing Takes Time
We once sat under the jacaranda tree with our picnic as a family and wondered out loud why the jacarandas were not revealing their usual abundant display of purple blooms that year.
“It’s just not a good year for jacarandas,” we decided. The weather was colder for longer and it rained more, or perhaps something else unseen held them back.
Just like the jacaranda tree, there are projects and plans and dreams that have not bloomed in full yet for me, and maybe for you too. Oh yes, there has been some blooming, but not always to the extent or speed that I envision.
Thinking of these things, I remember something I once heard. A person said, “To thrive in the wild, one must work WITH nature, and not AGAINST it.” And they are right.
The in-climate weather and the nature of things doesn’t always reveal the amount of growth that has dug its roots in and through our lives. Perhaps this season is one where your roots grew deeper also—the weather of life has forced you to.
There are always things happening in the unseen that we can’t quite grasp or comprehend. The Hands of Sovereignty hold both the weather and the things that are affected by it.
Let’s all be a bit more like the jacaranda tree, enduring the weather, working WITH nature and not against it, and trusting that when the breath of heaven blows, the glory of God will be on display.
God Will Finish His Work
God loved you at your lowest, chose you, and brought you out from the darkness and into His Light.
He also completely and wholeheartedly loves us today, even though we sometimes still wrestle with the darkness, and He longs to pour out His grace, mercy and loving kindness to us afresh, right now.
There is nothing we can do that would make Him love us any less, and because of this, we can faithfully follow His ways and know that they will lead us to an abundant life of joy in His presence.
A reminder for you today is that our Father is a good Father (1 John 3:1), He will finish what He started in you (Philippians 1:6) and one day, in God's perfect timing, you will bloom just like the jacaranda will, bringing forth a manifestation of His beautiful glory (2 Peter 1:3).
Stand firm, for there is much beauty in the making.
Sarah is an Aussie author, wife and mother living in Toowoomba, Queensland. Her book, ‘Fragrant Melodies’, was published in 2020 and is a beautiful outpouring of heart-songs in the form of poetry, designed to bring truth, encouragement and purpose to your soul in the ever-changing seasons of life. You can find Sarah on Instagram (@sarahalison) or at her website.
